Do I Love Women Too Much?

What an odd thing to wonder! Can you love anything too much? Any thing? Yes, certainly, alcohol, sugar. But people? Can you love a gender too much or a race or an age group? Perhaps.

I can only think of two times in my life where I was not hopelessly in love with women. And by "in love" I do not mean just their bodies (although those are delightful), but also the way they think and speak and even the puzzling way they feel about things.

1. High School - Hey, there was a lot going on. I was in love and it was a high drama relationship. I wanted my dream girl, but that's not who I was dating. I loved the girl I was dating, but she wasn't my dream girl. There were lots of highs and far too many lows. When we were in love, we loved in a manner that is difficult to attain as an adult. We kissed until our mouths were numb . . . maybe because it was new. Maybe because we were too young to have anything better to do. It was the lows that made me wonder about women. It was the hurt that made me dislike women.

I got over it.

2. Divorce - Honestly, a divorce is a simple way to put your guts and psyche through the spin-cycle. I honestly was angry at all women for the behavior my ex-wife displayed. They didn't say what they meant. Why didn't they just ask for what they wanted instead of being so indirect, leaving breadcrumbs, clues for us thick-skulled boys to try and figure out? When she wanted something and I managed to give it to her, she found she didn't want it anymore or maybe realized she'd never wanted it. I blamed all women for awhile.

I got over this, too. It's funny that a lot of the things that angered me about female behavior I now value as being wonderfully feminine. A lot of the traits I applied to all women could really just be attributed to my ex-wife, who was struggling and in pain and looking for happiness. I'm sad to say I don't think she's found it. I honestly hope she does, because now that I'm not angry at her anymore and I acknowledge my failures as a friend, husband and lover, I find I really want her to be happy somewhere with someone.

It's funny that the female characters I write tend to often be a device designed to help introduce the male character to his own feminine side, though that feminine side is usually a hyperbolized, stereotypical portrayal of a female. Well . . . maybe that's only funny to me.

My entire life I've always been a little more comfortable in a group of females than I ever was in a group of males. I like men well enough, but I find them boring. Women are fascinating and they smell delicious and there's always the chance I'll get to see them naked, lol. Being the only guy in a group of women gets you a lot more attention, by the way, though not necessarily laid. But you do gleam some insights that help with that as well.

As an aside, I ran into a small block today while writing. It was surging along pretty well, but then I just sort of ran out of steam. So now I'm writing this blog and figuring out a way to get back into that spell.

It's called Nine Portals. It's a little sci-fi, a whole lot of TG, and probably a lot less feminization and more of a transgender transformation type story. I really enjoyed writing other Sci-Fi TG. I'll list a few below:

Gulliver's Planet - Terri is the best salesman in the Universe and he's ready to sell his wares to the Pleasure Domes, but the only way to get there is to upload his brain onto a beam of light and have it downloaded into a rental clone. One little mixup can spoil everything, and sometimes make things better. (There is a sequel called Return to Gulliver's Planet.)

Band on the Run - When a riot breaks out at the band's first arena gig, there's only one way off the planet and that's to mask their bio-signatures. But how does one do that? Hmm, maybe a little change is in order. (There are 4 parts to this. They should be easy to find.)

Tales from Gulliver's Planet: Little Girl Blew - Alexander Ames was a burned out Ad-Exec who needed a vacation, so he decided to have himself downloaded into a Gulliver-brand pleasure doll to play on one of Gulliver's pleasure planets. Things don't always go as planned. (This is also a 4-part story with a sequel.)

Happy Holidays, in case I don't blog again before the season's over!

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Redemption at the Rose Saloon

Well, what do you know? I wrote a new story. It's shorter than  my other Kindle offerings at only 22k words, but I'm happy with it. For a long time I've been browsing TG titles on Amazon and looking for what was missing. I've read my fill of feminized in the office, by the wife, turned into a maid, stories, not that aren't some great ones out there, but I hadn't really seen many (any?) TG stories set in the old West.

I was really anticipating writing a number of "shorts" like this one and publishing them in a collection, but as usual, once I have something written, I like to share it.

I screwed up my last two titles by publishing them elsewhere. I didn't realize to be a part of Amazon's "KDP Select" program it had to be exclusively offered through them. Oops. Oh well, I have this one solely on Amazon, so hopefully that won't be an issue.

I've been rethinking covers, too. I like drawing my own, but it does occur to me I might do better with public domain or royalty free photo covers. I think I'd still be tempted to buy a couple of photos and composite my own little creation, but I'm wondering if photo covers look better than painted covers. The vast majority of covers I see are probably royalty free or paid for photos.

I realize now that I made a mistake with "Her Turn". I'd originally published the first part on Literotica and there were enough comments expecting a certain ending that I changed how I decided to write it. I know better. You don't write for anyone but yourself. If someone has guessed the ending, so be it. There are a lot of good things in Her Turn's second half, but the first half is just better. I was trying to write the ultimate hypno-feminization story, one that I'd want to read again and again. I got off to a good start, but I think I lost my way.

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Her Turn - Updated!!

It's up and Amazon should have emailed everyone with easy to follow instructions.

That's it. No more writing on the story. I may do a revision just to fix some grammar and/or spelling in the future, but those will be minor adjustments.

I can't believe I started writing in this March. Is that right?

Her Turn, love it or hate it, is finally done. I hope it doesn't seriously derail from anyone's expectations, but it went where it went. Way back when, I'd posted the first part on Literotica and got cheers and jeers, then ended it with a sharp turn. I could've kept going and the story would've been a lot shorter, but I liked throwing the ball back to Tom's hands, knowing full well he wouldn't keep it for long.

At the present time, it's a 3 Star story, which I'm very pleased about. It could be worse, since there are a few negative reviews. I hope over time a few more reviews will come in and that they will be positive. It makes a difference. I don't care about the sales that much, but I do like reading reviews from people who like what I've done. I've received emails from some of you, and I'm about as grateful as I could be. If I could, I'd fashion a homemade Tinkerbell wand and give you all the Christmas gift of a lifetime.

This frees me up to get back to my other projects which don't involve TG at all, but I'll be returning. I'm not sure what I'll write on next to be honest. I miss sci-fi, but my mind drifts every now and then to a Western, which I haven't seen much of in the TG genre. There could be a good reason for that, of course, but really . . . an old rugged cowboy bandit turned into a sweet showgirl in a Miss Rose's brothel? Hmm, it has possibilities. And what will his gang of bad boys say? Or will they be too busy changing themselves?

That's it for Her Turn. Thanks to everyone who commented, emailed, and left reviews. You don't know much I enjoy all of it.

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HER TURN is done!

Finally!!

Right?

Well, for me at least. It didn't help that I got sidetracked to another writing project. When I finally managed to get back to working on Her Turn, I felt I'd lost the story and the characters and had to go back to the beginning and read.

Now, after weeks of writing when I had the chance (usually an hour or so in the morning before work), it's done. I feel like it's the story that wouldn't end. I also should've posted what I had done, but I really wanted to finish it and make one final post. After a few emails asking if I was ever going to finish it, I realize that might have been a mistake.

Anyway, Her Turn is a finished product and except for some reviewing and editing, I'll be posting the big finale on Amazon this week. Unfortunately, it can take up to two weeks for Amazon to review the changes and activate the Update feature. As soon as I see it activated, however, I will post another update.

In all honesty, looking back, I feel I should've split the book into two parts, but it also doesn't feel right to charge another 2.99 for part two when they really belong together. I'm not sure what the word count is, but at the moment it feels like an epic. It's not, believe me, but the baby always feels biggest when it's coming out of you. (I trust women on this since at this moment I'm unaware of any uterine features in myself.)

I plan to take a break, work a few other projects and start writing again, but I'll be honest, I miss science fiction. There's not a lot of great TG sci-fi. Maxwell Avoi has done quite a bit, and what I've read hasn't been too bad. It's not quite Jack Chalker, Heinlein or John Varley, but it's more of an even split of sci-fi and TG. I wrote some shorts about a man taking a vacation and ending up trapped in an android sex doll in the Gulliver universe that I've been considering revising and adding to.

For those who have been reading, thanks for you patience!

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Her Turn: Where is my Update?!?

Her Turn. Yes. Is it ready? No.

Strange as it may seem, I don't just write sexy transgendered feminizing tales. I write other fiction as well under other names.

I honestly thought I could finish another story and get it published, then return and write on Her Turn in time to make my usual 18th update.

But, sadly, I'm still writing the next part of  Her Turn and it will probably July 18th before I get it published. And by published I mean, I upload it, contact Amazon and it takes them about 2 weeks to activate the update feature. That's a bit of an irritation I hadn't counted on, but understandable, and for what Amazon provides, I really can't complain.

I'm working on the ending of Her Turn just now. It can't go on forever as much as fun as that might be. I love Tom and Christine, but there are other sexy little feminizing tales I would like to dive into. I've always wanted to write a follow up to the TG Rock and Roll band in the future and to do a follow up to my sexy salesman turned into a sexy android tale. I miss sci-fi.

Stories to look out for:
On the plus side, Ann Michelle has a new story coming out soon.

Fiona Piper has a new story out, entitled Sissified Boss.

Deborah Ford  has revised If You Must and added some new material.

Stay tuned, I'm hoping to have the finished version of Her Turn published by July 18th.

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Her Turn - Updated!

Yes, it's been updated. I can't complain, but I've learned the hard way that updates aren't automatic. Oops. You have to contact Amazon and ask them to look at the changes you've made, then if they decide they're significant, they'll provide the update feature.

I was hoping they'd also send notifications to the readers, but I don't think they did. I actually bought my own book to see what would happen, and what happened was I saw the update feature available, but I didn't receive an email. Oh well.

In a perfect world, they'd send a thousand sexy schoolgirls and maids to your door to leave a note, mmm. Sorry, drifted off for a moment there.

Also, on the Kindle Cloud, I haven't seen an easy update feature. On the Kindle, I can go to Tools and then Manager you Kindle, but on the Cloud, I don't see that. Yes, I have both the Kindle and the cloud, because Kindle doesn't have any kind of login feature that would allow me to switch accounts easily. I'm sure they have their reasons, but did you ever think there was something obvious that a company was missing and wonder how so many smart people could be so dumb? Maybe they've contracted the bimbo virus or something. mmm, sorry, drifted off again.

Her Turn is doing quite well (by my standards anyway), and I received a nice surprise payment in my email the other day. So, for everyone who has bought it and for those kind enough to email me with kind comments, my deepest thanks. Because of the inconvenience of the update feature, I'm planning one final chapter (a big one), and then I can leave poor Tom and wicked Christine behind and start on something new.

~ttt 

Dominant Women

I love women. Have I mentioned that? I love women, and I want the best for them, and I respect them. I don't think a woman should have to (or want to) change herself to be with the man she loves.  This is why as a single guy I'm searching for a Dominant woman. It's not fair to date a wonderful woman and then spring it on her or "coerce" her into being Dominant. Is it?

Dominant women get an unfair rap. Women in general get an unfair rap, but so do men, but Dominant women get as an unfair rap as submissive men. Dominant women, after all, hate men. They're ball busting bitches who worship some femme deity and secretly wish all men were worms they could crush beneath the stiletto heels. Submissive men are weak and pathetic. They are sniveling little cowards who are probably gay and just don't know it. This seems to be the mainstream opinion. Fetish means people in leather hoods, piercing each other and pretending they're vampires and doing other weird things.

Is it any wonder I treated my desires as an embarrassing secret that existed inside me for so long? All the role models I could find were despicable. It's only been because of the magic of the internet and honest blogs that I've come to understand that most people have their little fetishes, and nearly all relationships have little issues with control. Even vanilla couples have their little control scenes. Maybe he likes to be on top. Maybe she likes it when he gets a little rough. Maybe he likes it when she bites his nipples. Maybe she likes seducing him into a frenzied state.

I've been Dominant before, and I've played with a friend and I can tell you A. I wasn't dressed in leather. B. I didn't pierce her or apply clothespins or hang her from the ceiling from her nipples and C. it was exciting as hell and when it was done, we went out to dinner and chatted like the old friends we were.

We were normal. That's all there was to it.

I've now had an opportunity to be submissive, and it was the same wonderful experience, perhaps better, because it felt like a more natural state for me to be in. In both cases there was an intense current of power being exchanged between us. As a Dominant, I knew exactly what to say and do to press her buttons, and when I did, she sank like a rock into submission and thrilled us both. As a submissive, I felt exposed, nervous and absolutely wonderful, because she seemed to know just what to say and do to drive me crazy. I felt as if she were reading my mind, as if she knew me.

I felt . . . "connected", and that's an extraordinary feeling.

But in both cases what made the current possible was intimacy and trust. For any relationship, these are powerful things.

I never trusted my wife enough, never let my guard down long enough to confide in her. I didn't let her know what I needed, because I was busy hiding it from myself. My marriage suffered for it. This is not to say that our marriage wouldn't have ended, but in some ways I'm a more honest person today because of the mistakes I made with her. I've forgiven her for her part in the ending of our relationship. I had an opportunity to tell her that earlier this year. I also forgave myself for my part. It was clear to me though that she had not forgiven herself. I wish I could help, but it's not my place.

Do I really want a Mistress that is cruel and harsh and unloving? No. I want a woman that I trust and who trusts me. Within that trust we may find that she does things (and that I want her to do things) that appear to be cruel and harsh and unloving, but we will both know the truth. Love, trust and intimacy will allow her to be all she has ever wanted to be, and allow me to be all I have wanted to be, and will allow us to be better together.

Do I really want a Mistress that is anything less than female? No. Why would I want a woman who wasn't soft and emotional and sweet and confusing? I wouldn't, and I don't. I may be submissive, but I'm still a man. I still like the chase. I still like a woman who smells, dresses and behaves like a woman. Why would I want to serve her if she was anything less than womanly?

Real dominant women get a bad rap, but the world, she is a-changing. What I write is all fantasy, and sometimes some of my fiction goes to an extreme level, but I know the difference between fantasy and a flesh and blood person smiling at me. I will always objectify women. I can't help it. They're beautiful, but I know how to get past their wonderful figures to the mind and heart and soul that drives them. I'm still learning, but I'm getting better.

Here's something I've learned. It's not about what you want; it's about what you can provide. This is something a Dominant woman taught me recently, and believe me, my first instinct was to rebel and refute and disagree, but instead I shut my mouth, swallowed my pride and paid attention.

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